work for life

finally another week has gone and passed, bringing april/may nearer to the present from the future, which gives me reason to be chirpy, as i've been the past coupla days. to a certain extent, the saying that the beginning of every day will determine how the rest of the day will go, is rather true. and i've now come to believe in the irrefutable truth of that.

aspirations/wants/needs. the difference amongst them? you only know when you go thru it and experience it for yourself, then you will learn the true meaning of priority/necessity.

i'm.. in short, devoid of my life. haven't done much lately, and sad to say, i've not even caught the latest flick constantine which pals never fail to remind me of. something about smoking 30 packs a day? i gotta watch the show sometime soon, though by the time i get to, it'll be over. so speaks the story of my life. so then one customer walks into egames earlier this evening and upon seeing me at the counter (again), goes "hey its you again? wah you really no life ah? everyday see u working here, people your age should be out having fun and enjoying time with friends, not work work work cos you have lots of time to do that later in life, and by then u will regret but it will be too late." in response i simply smiled, rather speechless at what to answer him with. my new motto for the time being - work for life.

ideas for another tattoo surface bit by bit, but i know im financially inadept to acquire one, but we still can dream, can't we? opinions man, i need opinions.


that's karma, in chinese. kinda like the innate meaning it holds, cos im a strong believer in karma now (i.e. you play bastard, bastard will play you)


that's life - in chinese as well. i dont really know why i was so attracted to this particular word but i guess i just like the ambiguity of it.

much more time on my hands now, since im officially off camp thanks to a cunning mishmash plan of physiotherapy, off, leave and training. so much time, yet so little work to do. i needa find another job.

so then, constantine anyone? i'd hate to catch a show alone but the choice ain't mine, as it often isn't.

one

certain things in life we all go through, we wish it would happen once and only once. after that occurrence, we never want to relive it. but from this solitary experience, we learn. we learn enough to know that well, it's simply over and done with now so leave it behind and don't go back there. because we have the knowledge of what it holds, and in turn, that brings about a fear that strikes us boldly.

a one-time-only experience, sort of like living on the edge of a cliff. its either you survive right there where you're happy and contented, or you fail to establish any sort of fundamental stability and as a result, drop all the way down, never able to scale up to that height again because of the permanent injuries sustained on the way down. which is also why you wouldn't even want to go back up. the harsh memories of that once-upon-a-time and only-one-try period will always remind u of the apparent potential for failure.

i tell myself time and again, and now as well, that i will attempt it this one time only, and should it fail, i will never trample on these grounds again. for i know what promise it holds for success, as well as the greater promise it holds for failure.

as such, this entry serves as testimony to a promise i make to only myself.

none

and so the festive season has passed once again, a year out and now we're into the year of the rooster. horoscope/chinese zodiac has it that in this year of the rooster, those born in the year of the rat (such as myself) will:

1) have bad gambling luck - so no more gambling for me
2) have a busy social life - so time to become a hermit and play CM4 @ home
3) those who don't already have one, will find their potential soulmate - more for clement than me or anyone else hahaha
there's actually a lot more but i cant remember the rest of it.

been doing a lot of nonsense lately, as well as working like a mad man. fri/sat/sun nights are my permanent slots at work which means i get little/no sleep over weekends. and so my only saving grace is that i can get some sleep during weekdays. but apparently not so this week, since i spent nearly the entire week out late at nights. been crashing at zo's and emman's place gambling away and staying up the whole night. i usually can be found face down on my bed/pillows the following day at home.

in general, things have been going rather well - nice, smooth and snazzy, a nice start to this new lunar year. hopefully this is merely a taste of things to come, then i would love to go thru the whole year - last year was a total trashcan; hopefully it's being made up to me this time round. but naturally u can't really have everything in life, or in a lunar year either. certain successes will be realised while others have to bear the brunt of disappointment. one word : priority - defines it all. which is why i decided to spend last night after work at home instead of at emman's place getting wasted and gambling my angpaos away haha.


Maserati Gransport - that's just sweet; an aspiration to get one before i perish and die

moving on

another month has passed and now it's feb already. three days into the new month and many things have happened as well as changed already.

master driver lorenzo escano has finally faltered. i will not delve into details but i suspect anyone can guess what happened, judging by the comments on my tagboard at the side, most in condemnation of cabbies. lol. no worries man zo, it's all over already so just leave it back and move on yea? i will still gladly take rides in your car man cos u are still quite master driver, just that now is become cat B no more cat A haha.

two years have blown past in the army, something impt to guys. girls prob couldn't care less abt this but this is a significant point in a singaporean male's life, where he regains his freedom and is no longer dogchained by the spore gahmen. on top of that, it offers him a chance to let his brain cells start functioning once again, after 2 long years of being dormant when we very nearly became vegetables. for most, 3/4 yrs of university education beckons ahead but prior to that, btwn now and june/july which is when term starts, it is time for fun fun and more fun, nothing else. time to rot away the days, burn your time since you've so much on hand and take holidays. of course finding a part time job would be good but well that's not really a must now , is it? haha.

the guys (des clem zo) are prob heading for europe in april, going to london, french alps and someplace else i think. would love to join them but personal commitments take priority. maybe another time yea, guys, hope you all can understand my situation, would appreciate if u would.

this is quite out of point but i was just thinking, i have this funny craving to want to be at wall street next time, hopefully donning a nice working attire while at work and mingling with the rest of the american working crowd. i wonder what it's like to be surrounded by busy people all around, rushing here and there, and to be enveloped in the middle of it. i know it sounds insane but i think it is some sort of sightseeing experience in its own way, to feel the pressure of people all around yourself and how it is their way of life.

i don't particularly want to settle down and stay here in spore for the rest of my life, that's for sure. twenty sore years here is enough for me and it's time to move along and out of this island of a country which is too small to keep me occupied for another twenty years. to a certain extent, i feel a tad bit claustrophobic here, as i long for the endless highways and greens that are so readily available for my appreciation in america, britain, or australia (of course i would still have to end up in a developed/semi-developed country). as such i guess it makes sense to say that i'm gonna drag my ass out of this town asap, with or without my tertiary education intact, and build my career elsewhere, hopefully america. there's nothing absolutely wonderful about the states as im sure kim would agree with me but i just want the endless space, the dynamic boundaries that can nearly never be completely visited. and yes i want to travel all 52 states once i've settled there.

call me unpatriotic if you will but that's what 2+ years of army time does to your mind/sense of belonging.